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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Spintunes #4 Round 2 Review: Denise Hudson

Jacob Haller - From Your Neighbors
This is the quintessential valentines song for this round. It was part of the reason my reviews were late as part of a top five that I flipped around several times. I'm using it as the introduction to my reviews. I want everyone to read it. Because it's about sex and also about couple-hood and community and togetherness and maybe about the flipside of Valentine's Day … which is that it is so HARD to concentrate on intimacy and togetherness because guess what

…WE can hear YOU fu

…and that is the essence of valentine's day, for me. Is love more valid just because it's making lots of noise? Or is a tasteful statement of concern which makes no sound but slams point home just as, or more, effective? What's the best kind of valentine's card. What really sums up the whole concept of Love, of this Day. What made me Feel it. This was what it came down to. And for me, this really did it in the most satisfying way because well … just look around. It doesn't even have to BE Valentines day. No, sir … and no ma'am. Every single day …

We can hear you...

1. Anyway … my husband and I, at least, could literally make this our theme song, and sing it once a day to people that post things on our Facebook Feeds, or on Google+, or just anywhere. We are surrounded and alienated by LOTS of data about peoples PERSONAL LIVES - and on this valentine's day … your extremely well mixed song pulled me out of a day I'd gotten kind of down. There wasn't too much extraneous noise, I had to get real picky to notice it. None of the soloistic instruments detracted in the least. Everything was well layered and didn't detract from the message.
2. I had cried over a couple of entries and a couple posts on a couple walls had made me feel all freaky. It was one of those days. I did not want to know anymore, I did not want to hear anymore, I wanted privacy and I just wanted a little bit of class and I just wanted to imagine myself going up to my proverbial 'neighbor's' door, tired of all the TMI all up in my face to say, "hey amigo

…we can hear you …"
3. A simple country instrumentation that was well stated and non distracting. An endearing voice that I could imagine a nicely throated neighbor from my part of town playing at the local bar. I would tip you generously. I'd come to all your gigs. This review is long.
4. Also, there are times and places for cussing. I noticed you asked about whether or not, and then lobbed a well placed expletive right where it needed to be to really illustrate a nice crass situation. Because really, what more is there to say of the Elephant in the room other than …we can hear it …{annnnnnnyway ….}

Edric Haleen - To My Significant Self
1. I never know what to do with you. I am really glad that I did not know that you made a Card before I heard the song, because I would have spent the whole song trying to figure out the Angle of the thing. This time, I took you at face value and experienced the whole song knowing nothing about it and just being surprised as it unfolded.
2. This was a beautiful song and it made me cry. I don't know what it meant to you or if it was just a skillful filling of a challenge; but it meant something to me in the same way that the Happiness Board that you have means something to me and gets me a little choked up - because the small bastion of a tiny happyhope against crushing Lonely or Despair or a brave voice in a room of Alone is a tear bringing thing.
3. Well atmosphere-d vocal and perfectly performed. Quite a lot of gumption going for such a long statement. You actually could have made it shorter and it wouldn't have hurt your message at all. I don't know what that would have done to the rhythm of the poem though - it may have changed the entirety of it.

In closing, you pull this off in pro fashion for sure and like you said, to a T. But that's not really the point of it, for me. And certainly not why you rank so highly. Bravo.

Common Lisp - A Brother's Valentine
1. Oh snap.
2. Your bass line is sicker than five babies at once during flu season. Nice job on the screams.
3. Your chorus is hilarious and well layered… oh .. wait a minute. What's that I hear? …oh gee. Paul is singing. Wow. That sounds FANTASTIC. meticulous production suits you and your decisions are on. I'm not saying you didn't produce meticulously last time, or that there is not more than one way to do things.
4. Perhaps you have inaugurated a new genre. It's almost like if they were to ever allow rap on NPR in any serious way (now I'm talking the ethic of your content, really) … Like … All Rap Considered. 'This American Rapplife' … Prairie Rap Companion … hell - maybe I'm not even being droll. I know you were thuggin' up your polly-tikki and bustin the tude,' yo - But the Liberal Elite Posse could get down wid yo shizznit.
5. In all seriousness, the best thing about this is actually not that you scored *A* song, but that you ARE scor-ING with your total MUSIC and personal style. Thusly, you are developing music-wise, and personality-wise, as an artist. Well done, indeed.
6. I think this all proves a point I didn't feel comfortable saying last round in response to your annoyance over the reviews - which was that it DOES matter how you present a work. If you deeply care about your vision, you have to put yourself into the shoes of your audience and think of how things are going to come across. If you disdain an audience (of many or of few) because you feel they lack the capacity to "get" your work they will hear that and they will not thank you. Showing that you care enough to couch your acerbic message in production allows you to say what you want. You get your point across. So, because you used the dark side of the force, but you seduced with it; perhaps you will score a valentine with this one.

Ross Durand - Space Opera Valentine (For Leia)
1. I can see the cutest video for this. Perhaps in cartoon. When I start seeing people in my own little cartoon videos they have succeeded in amusing me.
2. This tune wasn't in my top seven originally, even. You are just so good at this you really can't be not put in a top 3-5 at this point. Your songwriting just really can't be argued with. Watch nit-picky production things and nail risk taking and you will win each and every time because you are one of those rare lucky people who is close to flawless (dammit :) … no. I'm not REALLY jealous … :)).
3. Your vocal is really well done. There are some cheesy bits, but it's a cheesy idea, and a cheesy song, and you deliver and nail every line into precisely the right place and the hits keep coming.
4. Putting 'I've got a really bad feeling about thiiiiiiissss….' right there was pretty damn money.
5. Really good strings and really great stops.
6. I don't really have a lot else to say about this except endearing, tight songwriting, that got the job done-stuff. I'd also like to mention that it has crawled up a bit in the ranks too because we are living in an AWFULLY meme-y time right now and your treatment of this subject felt sorta Old-School for lack of a better way to put it … remindeding me of watching 'Empire Strikes Back' as a kid before all this insanity began. Can't beat that, really… {smile}

Governing Dynamics I Shouldn't Blame You
1. I am hoping that this making me cry at the listening party wasn't situational. You suck for making me question my motives! You have bounced up and only slightly down in reviews, and were once in first. You're killing me here.
2. Your guitar is a real accompanying instrument and takes second place to your lyric and your voice and your message. Congratulations, you have written a song and not a long twisty Pole of Guitar Philosophy that my Brain has to undulate around in order to keep its musical license. The lovelorn emo girly thing in me who wants to listen over and over to a tune I can rewind over and over thanks you.
3. This vocal is earnest and cute and special and strong and vibrato-y and one of your best.
4. And this is at least your second best song. Crushy kids everywhere besides me will connect to this genuine-ness of yours. And you're cool without the hipster pretension. It's refreshing and rare, really.
5. This had structure and development and even though it was specific and included 'our famous name' ;) … had universal Hit Appeal, I think - with a catchy hook …on a personal note, from me to you, this was also damn ballsy. So one thing I do know, is that the mojo from your situation made it have that … something … that a good song needs. And I think - you can hear that stuff.

This is pretty suave, man ...

If you don't get a marriage proposal or at least something Sorta Smoochy-ish out of this I'm going to die. Of course, this is none of my business. What is this?? As The World Turns??? {voyeuristic grin…}

Caleb Hines - To The Administrator Of Extra Planetary Research
1. The delivery of this is just so well done, so much so that I feel questioning whether or not this is a "song" is not a matter of Illogic-being-the-issue … it's about whether or not this was Fun and felt like Music in a Songwriting Millieu. And it did, Songs-y Meat between two slices of Sesame-Seed-Fun.
2. Speaking of sandwiches, the layering of this is just expert. I had some idea that you had a just barely tapped deeper singing voice that you have sorta just started scooping into; but now I know it because you have this AMAZING speaking voice.
3. This was so creative!!! Reminded me a bit of Sammy's rant, except … calmer. Muuuuuuuucccch caaaallllllmmmmer. And the writing was really amusing and kept me entertained. Your delivery was precious.
4. Taking that really important note out of the scale during the passage about Cupid and lowering it stepwise was really effective and kind of added to your poor character's confusion. I wanted to send him nice tasty candy presents. You know …to aid in his further research.
5. This was delightful and I am tickled green! {kind of like a Vulcan. But from Xondor.}

Gold Lion - I Love My Dog
1. This mix has a really nice balance. Really nice feel. This could be in a dog movie.
2. There is no question as to whether or not there is any hidden cynicism in this song because it might be too cute or saccharine or over the top or that it has any strong emotion other than bedroom slippers and a kind of hot-cocoa feel. It just kinda made me want to go out and get a dog.
3. Your vocal was perfect for this. Toned down a little bit from last time and still raw and rough in the mix. Matching your guitar and all in the same environment. Panned really well. Perfect for your age somehow making you sound mature, pro, pop, and alternative at the same time.
4. Good structure and good stops. Perfect length. Just can't really think of anything bad to say and even to improve recording quality would cheapen this, really.
5. Really, this is one of the songs I'm most pleased with this round. Well done indeed, ma'am.

Hazen Nester - (Bored With My) Precious Little Life
1. Your vocal is well treated and this is REALLY well mixed. Your style is amazingly presented. Listening to your old things for comparison idly a couple days ago - you have REALLY developed.
2. The song itself is kicky, cute, and catchy. It could go (once again), into one of these movies that are popular nowadays with the 20-somethings. Specifically a movie about unrequited young yearning … oh now, he's thinking about me after all, all whilst I pine for him. You have that cute-nerdy-guy voice and nerds are The Thing now so you go Ride That Wave all the way to China, my dear!
3. The wedding march motif was cute and a clever way to end the song.
4. Your hooks are reliably Beatle-ian. Of course, I've never heard about a hook being a bad thing in a song contest. :)
5. I want to hear you do something that busts you open because you are doing so well I want you to keep growing out. I think I am saying this because of the subject matter of the song. I want to hear what happens when you ruin the existing relationship, take this chance, and get with this girl. I want to hear the Hazen Nester treatment of THAT song too. Would it do the same Beatle Space Pop or go Sweet Horror like Round One where you controlled us with Preciously Hideous Theatrics? Or would you break apart and would we fall in love with you? Who knows these things?

Kevin Savino-Riker - Got Away
1. You are channeling Alanis. You are varying your rhythms and there's something about your style that is sticking.
2. This sounds mature and confident. Maybe I'm just getting used to your style or your way of doing things and it's growing on me. I don't know. Hmm. Maybe it's your chorus-y harmonies and the singsongyness of it. Your phraseology is coming off.
3. Your guitar sounds just lush and beautiful and I love the line about "insides…costumes at Mardi Gras…" for some reason this tempo and mix reframes the cheese factor that honestly gets at me about you into something yummy and it's all fine and dandy. Maybe I've just had an attitude adjustment. Geez. Am thrilling to your poetry a little - sexy and undulating within the percussion just the right way.
4. All this lets YOU get away with a song that goes on just a tad too long. You're a meanderer. But when you put all this interesting TEXTURE into things and get FLASH like that …

… well then you can do what you LIKE to draw things out, can't you?

Rebecca Angel Insignificant You
1. Great vocal with amazing vibrato. Sometimes it distracts from the lyrics because it is stylistically variable. Different textures seem to pop up as you switch from register to register. This is kind of a picky thing though ... and this isn't a singing contest anyway, so …
2. This song is very cute and catchy without going over the top and retaining a lot of jazzy class. Your play on the title and challenge is great.
3. Production needs even more tightening. Like the pop in the mic during "PPPersue … me" and the reverb faerie spreading love and glee indiscriminately all over your track.
4. I wanted more arc in the piano solo. Some of it was tripping over itself and the accompaniment felt as though it was not quite connecting with the melody. I wanted the solo line to have a phrase shape which did justice to your catchy melody, and for the left hand to support it more adequately. I also wanted your piano sample to be a little bit more round - less bleedy and also less synth soundy in the middle registers. Piano sounded even better than last time though.
5. With more flawless production you could maybe leverage your presentation into "hit." I can see you managing this fairly well.

This is all really nitpicky stuff. It was a really good listening experience for me. Great job! :)

Steve Durand - The Woman Of My Dreams
1. You brought the nun back. This was win.
2. That keys part was mixed in a questionable way. It's so cool though I really wanted to overlook it.
3. The rhythm of the lyrics of this was really AbAb and STRONG slow dance 1234. You are lucky that the horn parts served it well because it forced you to do things like sing phrases Always BEEEEE th wmMAN uv my DREEEEEEEEEMS (2, 3, 4) … fortunately this fits your cinematic voice. I feel like I'm in a world of carnival fantasy and cannot figure it out in the least. This is fine.
4. Oddly, the horns are kind of low in relation to other things about the mix.
5. If you write about Sister Mary Agnes for the whole contest I am tempted to put you through the whole way just to see what you do. Like legitimately vote-through. You're spinning a good yarn, and you can really tell a story.
6. As a songwriter, you are really just such a compelling fellow.

Bryan Gray - Man Crush
1. I don't often wish to be a man because I like being a woman, but I've got a complicated girl friendship with a complicated Human who is complicated and when I heard the phrase "we've got mantivities to do" I thought of her and I wanted to dedicate the song to my Man-crush who is her. When you get a pocket song with such universal appeal like that you know you have a good songwriter. Thank you for allowing me to take up #1 with my schmoopy personal vignette.
2. This is another heavily reverb-ed song and your piano is a bit sloppy, with some loud bits in there. In fact, I really would remix this whole thing with a different set of instruments.
3. The line "caught in a mad bromance" was one of the best lines of the contest.
4. Your last bit of the chorus is a little awkward, but sheesh, so is the song and it just really needs to stop there so you can get to the stalker verse.
5. This would have scored a LOT higher with tighter production. Such clever lyrics and good singing. You have a nice voice.
6. Also, "jerkball" is damn funny. ………. I'm all over that.

Jon Eric - Friday February 13th
1. Vocal was endearing and strong even when wavery. I liked some of the bluesy figurations you used. It suited your lyrics well and helped a lead sing that you didn't nail quite as well as you did on the last round.
2. This song grew on me with subsequent listens, as did your vocal. This was not true of your last round song, which took hold immediately and stuck because it was catchy and the vocal was undisputedly slam dunked in my opinion.
3. You really benefit from a bit more up-tempo and flash, or if not that - accompaniments which sustain or provide a running pattern in absence of a quicker tempo to bolster you up. Slower tempos leave open spaces for long held exposed notes.
4. Clever lyrics as usual. Perhaps too clever? When the tempo stayed the same alongside a texture which did not vary much I felt that the lyrics were really hard to interface with.
5. Still, the piano IS consistent and its tone has a clarity and urgency even though the feel could have stood a few clicks beyond jr. high dance tempo. Maybe that wasn't your goal though. Feeling awkward and thirteen ultimately is appropriate to the subject matter … that we DO know and so a pass could possibly be give both to the tempo I've gone ON about, and to a few awkward vocal moments that you manage to stretch to a youthful sounding endearing ambiance. So, setting a tone works for you - hopefully enough to get you through.

I can't share your sentiment though. I never hope they're happy later. I probably should invest in some Personal Growth of some kind.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - 'A Letter To Bernie'
1. Good mixing with a nice touch and a clear vocal.
2. Larger than life, hall of mirrors, stretchy cartoon plot made me feel I was trapped in some kind of Roger Rabbit on Crack situation.
3. I frantically culled through my mind to try to remember if there has EVER been another song written in the history of time referencing "chapped ass" - and came up empty.
4. Speaking of that, your sound itself is also completely unique - almost as though you had to make up an entirely different modality and way of thinking to supplement your spacey and oddball comedy. It sort of sits there in this Just-Been-Spanked kind of way. You say "well OKAY then…" but it's all okay. You become a BYD disciple, of sorts. I don't know. This is what happened to me. I've started thinking of it as 'The BYD Brain Wall.' … oh boy, here it comes … the wall of inner voices. Sometimes I hear them in my sleep. I associate them with song contests. They whisper evil challenges to me …
5. This was a pretty fancy tale, by the way. There was no possible way two people were going to think of this. A case could be made that this wasn't a card, per se, but a legal plea of some kind - but considering the nature of the legal trouble, and the fact that Cupid is the character here getting the book for the love arrows - I'd say you ended up an even bigger card than Edric this round. Stunning feat, really. {winkysmile}

Jess Scherer - Carbonated Love
1. A little more power to this tune than your last, which is nice.
2. The song. Still sweet. Still cute. Still kinda the thing you bring. You could really sell this stuff. Well written.
3. Oh, sweet little hook. I want to punch it and say mean things about it, because I am Wednesday Adams. But I won't. Instead I am going to buy you a cupcake and shut up and rank you well-ish and say damn that is a well done song and reward you for writing a hook that is unabashedly oozy.
4. Now. Whatever effect(S) you are putting on your vocals can really stand to be tightened up on the tail ends because on some of the words there is a quavery little twing to them that oscillates almost a little bit too fast. Combined with your reverb it makes your vocal sound a little bit artificial. But this might actually be appropriate because your lyrics are a little bit sugary anyway.
5. The instrumentation is pretty subtle and well done. I'm not sure whether or not Christine McVie is gonna run over you with a Fleetwood Mac truck because at the beginning of this I thought you were gonna take off into 'Say That You Love Me' or something … {smile}

Noah McLaughlin - Hey Joe
1. Your vocal tuning is not quite on this time I'm afraid. You are having these songs which are misses for you less and less though, so you are really learning what to do.
2. It's too bad that this one was not a pitch-score because sometimes you made some interesting rhythmic choices. In a good way. Also some of the ways that you pulled off your phrases are good decision making and reflect good musicality.
3. An odd kind of smurfy tonality kind of tries to hold hands with your uncomfortable vocal like it needs coffee a little bit. The hootsy synth and your good production push you up a bit and you create enough of a package to at least ballpark your point.
4. I am going to have to disagree with starting a song with waking up and getting out of bed because the Beatles already did it, and of course better but you are not going to argue with this of course. Who would? They are the Beatles!
5. Your drums again, are distracting from the push of the song from phrase to phrase.
6. I actually thought it was sort of cute to write the song to a cup of coffee. I can see that, although it is I suppose debatable challenge-wise.
7. This is not my favorite song of yours and unfortunately suffers in the presence of stronger performances and production.

David Le Duc - 3rd Grade Valentine
1. This has a really cool ambiance. And really good layering.
2. Things get old and your layering drops out and I start watching the clock a little bit. I am really not sold on "you bastard" as a hook. It's kind of … over-the-top-emo.
3. It sounds like you are sick of the cool hook and the idea and the whole thing and you could have shaved off a whole minute of this and it would have been fine.
4. This is one of those songs I put into the 'good on a rainy-day-date-that-will-end-in-a-breakup-or-something-ick' brain box. Just kind of red light on a wet street-y. I like that kind of scene-set.
5. The bass piano in this is great, and your vocal fits it well. An epic vocal, really. Neat synth.
6. Structurally, I'm not buying this because you really do just seem to not make enough change to justify the length.

FauX - Back Down To You
1. mother earth? really? seriously? This is one of those times where I feel like saying something direct and growly about these lyrics because they are making me feel cringe a bit … but I don't know if you are gonna feel bad because you are an earth activist and you were super serious when you wrote all this down with your fifth-grade lines and your earnest love poetry. I feel hoodwinked into being respectful.
2. I really like the vamp in the middle. that's pretty fly. it kinda starts to groove a lot. Your layering is so good in a lot of places that you can't NOT know how cheesy this is. So … yeah … Particularly with that note at the end.
3. You are really good musicians. Your musicianship is better than it was in the first round, but still not as good as in other things I've heard. You are a very diverse act and your vocal is starting to grow on me just a little bit … especially if I think you are being cheeky. You have risen in my estimation but it's not because of your subject matter. I felt preached to and jerked around a little bit, and the whole song wasn't as cool as the breakdown. If it had been, I might have gone for it.
4. This really does have a cool drive to it, and I really do like your breakdown lick.

Oh. Yeah. I like the earth and I recycle. I'm just totally being a harda$$

The Orion Sound - You (A Valentines Stalker Song)
1. Your voice is really strange and is either right in tune or sort of oddly out. But it's a really … GOOD voice. So I'm confused about what to say about that because I'm not sure how to deal with that.. Sometimes I feel you go off the path there even though you've got good raw material to work with.
2. The lock of hair next to your shrine line … is a great line, as was the bit about the burning letters on the lawn.
3. I really like your piano! It's one of the best ones in the round simply because it is so interesting and depth-y and well handled recording-wise. Things are kept simple and well reflected.
4. "viagra / niagra?" … seriously? oh dear ….
5. You're a pretty good piano player as well. There are so many other distracting things though.
6. "love ya spin." it was meta but that was damn funny ….

Felix Frost - Amber Avalanche
1. The shifting time signatures are clever and well put in but really distracting - and the synths are grating. I don't really like your synths much - but they are well played.
2. Your layering is well done, but some of the voices are just as distracting as your time signatures and your synths.
3. This is really chaotic!
4. This goes on for a really long tme but it is so varied that it's hard to complain about it. For part of this I felt kind of Revolution No. 9 only more thematic.
5. The lyrics are hectic and hard to pay attention to. Something about the chorus that you put on your lead vocal is bothering me and perhaps if you'd used a different EQ. You really stacked the lyrics together strangely.

Altogether, I don't think this is something that I am going to listen to again, but it is not a bad song - just not my taste. You know how to play and mix though and shift around well, creating a freakylittlegroove.

Trader Jack - You Can Be My Joey Ramone
1. Writing a musical valentine to Corin Tucker is such a corduroy pants wearing thing to do! Wow. You're cool!
2. You have some really kicky energy and I feel you might be a real showman.
3. You were doing so well … so cool. You owned the coffee shop vibe in this undisputed way in the first round, narrowly wresting it from the more broody Kevin with your unconcerned gum-smacking glam. Now I feel a little snowed under and kinda like you hipstered on my parade a little. Too much hooping and hollering and nonchalance. Almost like you did cross that imaginary line that you managed to stay on the right side of last round.
4. Your guitar is really cool and you kept this short.
6. The rhythm drove nicely.
5. Nonetheless, you did not sell me on this one. Still you can sing and you can perform so I am still a fan of your rambunctious little ways, in general. I just don't think I'm cool enough to get it and think I may be a fan of an earlier disaffected generation, perhaps. Even so, nobody ran over the "hi, how are you frog" this day. So who knows these things?

Robert Borden - Julia
1. This was sweet but I have to admit that it set me off to write a tune to a YouTube ukelele celebrity. I tried to keep the ooook down. It was REALLY fansy-pants.
2. Cute harmonies. Harp in the back got to me. So did the Julias in the back. If you had shaved a minute off of this it would have bumped you five to seven up in these ratings. Instead there was too much time to think and to start feeling that Societal Internet Discomfort that I Get. This is not your fault but it doesn't serve you well here, unfortunately.
3. I started longing for the Beatles to come save me. Reality check to see if I was jealous of Julia. Nope. There's a minute left on the clock.
3. When you rhymed Ashton and Demi I thought … it's yet ANOTHER one where I'm being sorta mocked and you can't really be serious. Maybe you're making fun of celebrity crushes. Hmmm.
I am going to go ahead and say that you have a fascinating voice and I'll probably go looking for you and feel stupid when you are silly famous that I put you at the bottom of this pile of people. No, I won't. Because I don't know why you wrote about this. I'll probably go find out why.
4. This reminds me of Molly Lewis a bit.

SHADOWS:


EMPEROR GUM - <3
1. This is adorable. I so wish that you hadn't gotten knocked out. This is the way I think to do a sweet little punky number and you would have made my job even harder in the rankings really messing up the high middles and throwing a wrench into things for some people.
2. This was also real fun and the way you are meant to throw fun little things into a song. This, by the way, is the quintessential "listen to THAT cool accent" type of thing that you hear about from our side of things.
3. I really liked your guitar tones and the fat fuzziness of things.
4. The balance was not good and the vocals sounded really buried in the mix. If you had looked at your levels (dunno if you were watching meters or not) and everything was dancing all right level-wise in the correct places like I'm sure it does when you are doing your big orchestrations I've heard before, this might have gone a lot smoother and been casual-but-pro. I dunno. There was something endearing about the lo-fi messiness. Especially when it was so on.

BOFFO YUX DUDES - Be My Valentine (Settle For Me)
1. Good decision making this the shadow. Cuz dude. What the hell?
2. Weirdly though, even with this raw and kind of messy style from you - we are still getting the BYD BRAIN WALL. Even your messes are pretty tight now so you're kind of becoming an establishment.
3. Your instruments are grating and not nice on my headache. This is hard to judge. I sure would have rather had a surf guitar or something.
4. By the end of this it had grown on me. Hmm.

MENAGE A TUNE - My Best Friend
This is nice to hear because your vocal fits the style here well. The piano is thin and doesn't match the environment of the vocal in the least and you are in completely different rooms in the mix, even. Your tuning, however, on this is probably the best I've heard from you at all ever. This is really well done JoAnn. And it's an endearing song that makes you sound interesting and compelling and nice. If you did other songs like this and worked out some feasible instrumentation along the lines of what you made in round one, you could establish a style that might really go someplace for yourself because you are developing nicely. This would have scored well and I hope that you would have made this your official entry if you had stayed in and not the other one, but I have an odd feeling you would have gone with the other one that is more produced. I could be wrong. But this one is a performance you pretty much nailed in a way you haven't done others in that they've been pretty good, but this one had some Polish to it. So whatever you did with or to it …

WAIT WHAT (The Band)- She Just Wouldn't Understand
1. Angels who eat Skittles …
2. This was a really good idea that I thought was going to go really well and be funny. By the second verse I was done with it.
3. The way that you said "baybee" was great.
4. Just the funny things you said like the balloons popping and the pregnant babysitter and the soup with weird ingredients. Really good.
5. You didn't need to say the arsenic thing twice. Maybe it was a cry for help.

DREI VIERTEL DREI - Goodbye
1. I really like your drum sounds (except for your kick drum, it's shifty). But your rim taps sound really good and I'm fond of the cymbals in the mix as well.
2. Good effects on the vocals and nice layering.
3. This dragged on a bit but the ambiance was nice.
4. I do have to say that the vocals did get a little pitchy and clashy sometimes. They were handled well engineering-wise though. the guitar sounds really good.
5. It was very wistful and the lyrics got a bit repeat-y and could have been more concise I feel - but there was some real poetry in them and they were sweepy and rainy feeling and cold and sad.

ROSALIND - My Favorite Time Of The Week
1. You have the most hard to peg down style … you are consistent in things I think of as mistakes and I am perhaps thinking, maybe they are not.
2. You are shifting and lurching in time but you are doing it forcefully and deliberately like this is a big plan of yours and I'm buying into it because you are selling this odd performance.
3. You have a really lovely voice and you aren't clipping like you did last week. You improved and would have done better than last week.
4. Now, I really wish that you had stopped at around three minute mark. Because it does go on and on.
5. Your tune is real interesting and meandering and doesn't have a hook but earworms into the brain just the same. You definitely have a style and you could develop tightly into it because you are obviously a strong player with a good strong tone in your vocal. Tighten up. {smile}

MENAGE A TUNE - Fractal Choices
1. Your tune is nice. I don't know how your process went and if the music came first and then the words, but your are lining things up beautifully. You can make a good tune. It's hard to judge the entirety not knowing who's who in the process or the story behind your collaborator. What I will say is that I liked his sounds better this week.
2. Who, what, how, and huh? is this a musical valentine's card? I get the card / card metaphor at the end but it's really abstract and seems like a stretch to get the prompt concept to conform to a song you wanted to write already. Which you actually did pretty skillfully with your lyrics, but still a tad awkwardly. Still, I've never been a challenge stickler ...
3. I didn't really say much in your review about your tuning but ranked you accordingly within the standings based on your level of improvement in relation to where other people were and their levels of improvement and their songs. But since now you seem to want to understand a certain amount of disparity …you might want to work on fitting your voice into the ambiance of your song. This song is a little more modern. This isn't church. It's almost more of a sensual layering of more synthy sound. Your excessive vibrato which often meanders off the pitch (although it has improved quite a bit) pulls the tune out of its environment and - moving on from that, when you go into the spoken word section, you are using the wrong inflection for that, in my option. with this kind of swishy foresty vibe you almost could use a less clipped style. Your automaton chant there doesn't really get your point across. I'd almost like to hear a different EQ on you and some interesting effects and perhaps some fade-ins and outs and maybe some choruses.

6 comments:

  1. If I somehow pull out an advancement from this, I definitely have you to thank for it.

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    1. I had no idea that your song was about Scott Pilgrim! :) Half the time songs hit places in me that have nothing to do with the lyrics even, so that worked in your benefit this round. Well done. :)

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  2. small codicil: I do not read song bios before writing reviews. particularly when judging. now, however, i will learn more of these just because i care about your work.
    Den

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  3. "My Best Friend" was done very quickly as far as writing it and getting the tune down. I was also in a very cheerful mood, and was writing it as a gift for a friend. It wasn't recorded until 12-2 am the Sunday night it was to be submitted, and although Ted would have like to add more to it, >I< wanted to get some sleep. Between his being sick, working all nights a few times and procrastinating a bit, we didn't get final recordings done till the last second. I might see if he wants to work on it some more after the last round or during slow times between songs.
    "Fractal Choices" started as a project from a songwriting workshop, and I thought of it right after the last results. I was trying to decide whether to even bother doing a song, and was pretty ticked off. All those feelings wound up in the final song.
    I didn't really want to do the short sharp way of singing in the center section; that was Ted's idea, he thought it would sound better so I deferred to his general better musicality. As to the ability to hit the notes as opposed to swooping up on them and going all over the place- I have had 4 voice lessons thus far, and love them. I wanted to learn to sing better for this and for church. It is also another reason I decided to continue doing songs for Spintunes 4- at 50 bucks a lesson I didn't want to have wasted the money!

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  4. I really appreciate you detailed analysis of my song and I'm glad it struck such a chord with you. I'm away from home right now but I may write a blog post or something in a couple of days. Thanks!

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  5. I just listened to the Fleetwood Mac tune. Yikes! I had not heard it before. When I started writing the intro I was actually consciously avoiding being sideswiped by the Ben Folds Five motorcycle with "Annie Waits" in the side car.

    Thanks for the suggestions and the overall review.

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