Preface: At the time of writing these reviews, I'm not feeling well. Thus, they're not going to be necessarily amusing or deep, and for that, I apologize ahead of time. If I don't give enough input or you have questions about anything I say, hit me on twitter @SammyKablam.
Sara Parsons - Sara Parsons thinks I'm a gigantic douche. That does not have any effect on the fact that this is a great fucking song.
Ryan Brewer - Ah, the sound of Bruno Mars...if Bruno Mars wasn't a trite, soulless moron. I really hope this is how you make your money.
TurboShandy - I like all three melodies in this, and they switch from one to the other very nicely. Your lyrics are clever as shit, by the way.
Edric Haleen - I don't think I've witnessed this many cameos outside of an episode of Old SChool Raw. Kudos on having so many friends. However, I'm pretty sure Governing Dynamics has firm legal grounds to sue you for Depressing Ass Song gimmick infringement.
Brian Gray - Hey, look, someone didn't write the song that everybody wrote. Kudos. And yes, I'm sure doing a lone voice makes it feel all sobering and whatnot, but finish your fucking studio already.
T.C. Elliot - This sounds a bit Chili Pepper-ish, which isn't great for my taste. That said, I spent 3 years stuck in my house with agoraphobia, so this resonated quite a bit. Given that 90% of people still don't understand what mental illness is, it's always nice to feel like someone understands a bit. Yeah, this is more personal than most ratings, but there it is.
Spencer Sokol - Hey, a minimalist performance where minimalism works perfectly.
Dr. Lindyke - I feel bad rating this song so low, because I can't say there's anything especially wrong with it. I just believe other songs were better. Why? 'Cause I know. Granted, "knowing" and "believing" are kind of entirely different concepts, but you get what I mean...apparently.
Zoe Gray - This is kind of terrifying. I feel like you're about to lose your mind and murder a family, taking their places with your various personalities, living in their blood-soaked home until the authorities come storming in. I may need to have a talk with Brian...
Taylor R - This musical arrangement is top notch; easy to follow, without being redundant and complex enough to keep the listener involved. The scenario is simple enough to relate, but the lyrics aren't entirely predictable. If your vocals were sharper and the recording a bit louder, I'd likely rate this higher. As it is, it has great potential.
TOS - That seemed like a lot of work, and it didn't scrape any barrelbottoms. I am thoroughly impressed.
Adam Sakellarides - Points off the bat for "futzing" and "svelte". I like the drums and the piano, but I feel like the fuitar is just too much for this song. Just feels like it's butting in as opposed to being part of the composition. I do like the concept and the lyrics, though.
Governing Dynamics - The most depressing song I've ever heard -- and it's by Governing Dynamics?! That seems a bit out of character.
Felix Frost - You are still insane, but you sound like the lithium has been working.
Trader Jack - I get it. It's an amusingly weird performance piece. And I immensely appreciate doing something different, since it's obvious how most people will take this challenge. But let's be honest: I'm not gonna be rocking out to this on my way to work.
Jailhouse Payback - Eugene sounds like a dick.
James Young - this song is just too slow for so much lyrical repetition. Slow songs can be perfectly fine, but they need something to keep the listener engaged, and having big chunks of the words on repeat isn't gonna do the trick.
Ross Durand - Wow. This sure is the happiest song about alzheimer's disease I've ever heard. What the fuck? I'm rating it this high because the production is decent. I"m rating it this low, because what the fuck.
Ominous Ride - This nearly perfectly captures the tones of this challenge in great lyrics and somber-but-not-boring music. Definitely a radio song without being regurgitated pop trash. That said...it immediately triggered the thought of "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, and I fucking loathe Metallica. I can't...I don't even know how to express the level of loathing I hold for that band of self-righteous cunts. You've written a damn good song, don't believe otherwise; but it sounds like someone I want to die, so I can't rate it very high. It's my problem, not yours.
Dex01 - This was the least bad thing I think I've heard from you. As soon as you can, you've got to get a studio mic or something to help your vocals clean up. On the upside, this is very pop song style repetative in lyricism, but I also fucking hate pop songs. On the upper side, it's also pretty energetic, which makes the song sound sad but feel hopeful and possibly determined. That is a healthy combination.
BYD - Well. This certainly is a BYD song. See, he's a hitman in love with his target, and he can't quite bring himself to shoot her. So, he's missing her...with gunfire. He's shooting at her with bullets, but he pulls away at the last second, so he's missing her. But also, he can't be with her romantically, because he's supposed to kill her. So, he's missing her, emotionally, when he's not...you know...aiming at her with his sniper rifle. It's a play on words, guys. Come on.
Army Defense - I have no idea what I just listened to. It was certainly a thing, but what the thing was supposed to sound like or say, I really don't know.
Jenny Katz - This sounds like something Prince's jaded lttle sister wrote for her album "Let's Sell Some Designer Things". I appreciate the poetry, but bleeegh on the sound of jazz having the flu.
Sid Brown - The vocals seem afraid to exist. The music picks up, and the vocals just never quite do. Also, while this fits the challenge enough, it just feels underwhelming. That feeling might be connected back to the unsure vocals, but I dunno. Just feels imbalanced.
Jutze - THis is entirely TOO happy. THe music sounds like Jutze is skipping throught cobblestone streets and waving at happy farmers and bakers in the quaintest village of all. I"m not quite sure the music works with the lyrics -- unless the lyrics are immensely sarcastic, in which case, I love it, but it wouldn't quite fit the tone of the challenge.
Menage a Tune - Too long, too slow, too empty.
Hudson And Day - What? A Hudson and Day song with vocals that sound comically bad? WEIRD! This would probably good if I could hear it without...well, without hating it.
Wait What - Fuck, you are awful.
Caravan Ray - This is an amusing little diddy. It's refreshing to have a funny song in the mix of all the depression -- intentionally funny, I mean, not like "Wait What" lack-of-awareness funny. That said, the singer of this song doesn't actually miss the person, I think that's reasonably clear, and missing the person was kind of the point of the challenge. THus, while I genuinely do like the song, I kind of have to eliminate it.