Mariah Mercedes - Ending(eternal)
Simple guitar and vocal, but with a voice
this good that is all I want! The guitar style is simple, but with enough
rhythmic variety and some wonderful creepy chords. Your voice goes from a
whisper to almost a scream over the course of the song. The subject matter of
the lyrics is both sad and inspiring, treating the topic of death with respect
and strength. It all comes together in a package that reminds me, in tone and
style, of Al Stewart's "Roads to Moscow". The only change I would make to it
would be to drop the last line - it really isn't needed. My favourite song of
this round.
9/10
Edric Haleen - The Death Of A Meme
Starting with very understated piano chords and vocal, this is bound to
upset plenty of people and I love it. The song moves from sad and reflective to
glorious, shout-out-loud life-affirming and I think it might just be my
favourite Edric song ever. I can picture it being sung on a blackened stage with
a single spotlight on the god and one faintly glimmering on the last believer.
Wonderful stuff.
9/10
RC - Goodbye Everybody
Such a sweet tune. Such a creepy premise! RC, you know that nobody's going
to want to employ you after that song, right? When you said you were leaving a
few mementos, I was thinking maybe dead fish in the filing cabinets or a bag of
sugar in the boss's petrol tank, but you went totally postal! But you do it in
such a pleasant and innocuous manner that makes it somehow even more creepy,
like you've been planning this for every one of those 15 years. A nice happy pop
song, with a understated guitars and a subtle, tasteful drum part.
8/10
The Boffo Yux Dudes - The Ballad Of JJR
The Dudes put together a wonderfully arranged homage to the kind of
political statement songs of Dylan, Guthrie and many others. It feels part folk
song, part old-time western soundtrack with layers of organs, acoustic guitars
and massed voices. It is a serious subject, yet full of good humour. Unlike most
of the other songs, this one covers the end of a political/judicial career, from
which the judge cannot be fired, but for whom life can be made very
uncomfortable to the extent that he has to go anyway.
8/10
Wait What - Middle Management
Dude, I want your voice! Country with a sense of humour ("Rectum, yum-yum"
made me laugh out loud on public transport). It's slick, it's funny, it's
terribly crude and it has some splendidly silly little instrumental and lyrical
flourishes. Love it.
8/10
Hudson And Day - It Worked Out
I'm back in the 70's and there's soulfull, jazzy stuff going on. The layers
of vocals intertwining with each other work well. Lyrically it's simple, but to
the point. What strikes me as strange is the way it fades out from the middle of
the last verse. Is that intentional? I would understand this particular song
being suitable for fading out over a repeated chorus, but in the verse? Had it
lasted another minute or two I would have been quite happy. Some of the little
farty brass synth parts seemed a little out of place, though they were pretty
low in the mix, so no big deal.
8/10
Godz Poodlz - It's a Great Day at BigMart® Today
When the rhythm section of this started up, I thought I would hate the
song. It's an over-busy synthetic, synth-pop travesty, but the rest of the song
is so good that it doesn't matter. The chorus seems to be JoCo-meets-Ultravox
(really - compare it with "Hello" from the new Ultravox album), which is no bad
thing to this listener. Repeating "hello"s from the greeter are a nice little
touch. Another explosive ending to match RC's song, though this one seems less
pre-meditated. The vocals are strong and the emotions are believable. It's a bit
of a reflection on more than just the closure of one discount store and one
employee's lost job. Nice work!
8/10
Heather Miller - Not Gonna Miss Your Face
A super-catchy chorus on this simple acoustic pop song that sounds like a
demo for a song by the Supremes. I can almost hear the smooth "ooh, ooh"s and
horn section in the background. The lyrics are on the disturbing side, with an
abusive, useless boss finally getting his, with a nice twist on the meaning of
the title.
8/10
The Orion Sound - Praying
The attitude of this one is wonderful, life-affirming and ballsy, with some
very danceable rhythm guitar and scatterbrained honkytonk piano parts. This
isn't as in-your-face as some of the Orion Sound songs from SpinTunes 4, but
will probably upset just as many people. So, I'm sorry if it offends, but I
can't help but laugh at lines like "Praying to Beelzebub... Praying for
circumcision". The only thing that really lets this song down are the backing
vocals, which make it difficult to make out the lyrics in places because they
are not in time with each other.
7/10
Caravan Ray - The Beginning Of The End
Off to a great start with this upbeat song that perfectly sums up what I
would expect from this challenge. A standard rock/punk arrangement that's as
full of life and playful as the character sneaking around his place of
employment and doing the mini-rebel thing. I enjoyed the plan for the future and
the little dig at the Spotify rate of return. This made me smile a lot. Good
job.
7/10
Ross Durand - I'm Lyin'
Another country song about a good old country staple, the guy who gets laid
off. A nice clean arrangement centred around some effective acoustic guitar
playing. I love the organ/vocal background pads in the chorus and the simple
rhythm only appears when needed. The lyrics are really bittersweet in this - a
love song, a lie and a horrible position to find yourself in. You made me sad,
so now I'll need to listen to Middle Management again.
7/10
Jailhouse Payback - Escalator
Another upbeat pop number, this has a killer hook in the chorus that
lingers around after listening - perfect use of backing vocals. The lyrics are
open enough to be able to apply in a number of situations, despite the title.
The instrumentation all works with the song, perhaps lacking a little lick here
or there at the end of the chorus, or leading into it, but these are minor
points.
7/10
Governing Dynamics - Swing Shift
Here is a well-produced rock number, with a bit more variety in the
arrangement and some nice dynamic shift and a subtle, laid-back guitar solo
leading into rock ballad territory. It feels a bit lacking in emotion or humour
for my taste, but enjoyable.
7/10
Glen Raphael - Naked
Here we kick off with a beautiful acoustic guitar solo introduction, then
it goes all James Taylor. Hmmmm. Yes, it works pretty well. Nothing too exciting
happens lyrically apart from giving a fleeting moment of "where is _this_
heading?" with the line "And we're all naked...", but then it wimps out
"...under our clothes". Oh well, just heading home then. Seriously, it gives
that impression of "Ah, well, that was that, then..." Leaving a long time job
being like a damp squib. There were a couple of places where the guitar sounds
like it is trying to escape, but everything stays on track. Well put-together
and pleasant enough. If this kind of thing is your kind of thing, then this is
for you.
7/10
The Chocolate Chips - My Own Boss
There's a strange edit after the first verse of this song that seems out of
place and yet works because it signals the end of the old job with a side
comment and a nice reverse guitar sound. The vocals are Dylanesque, but the
lyrics are far from Dylan - very repetitive. Maybe he's still trying to convince
himself that things ARE better now. The chorus repeats a bit too often, but I
suspect that is just to meet the 2 minute limit. Another weird edit ends the
song. Can I suggest the use of a de-esser or a change of mic technique? The 's's
in the first verse are overwhelming the sound.
7/10
Ménage a Tune - Crowning Glory
Another solo acoustic guitar intro leading into a tribal rhythm with band
backing. As for the lyrics, well, finishing a job when that entails building a
pyramid, is certainly worthy of an epic song. And this IS epic. It builds up
with all three vocalists taking a different view on the task, with all three
singing different parts together at the end, which works very well. In fact,
this choral part works better than the solo vocals, some of which feel a little
unconfident. There is also some weird interplay between the guitar and piano
parts at the end that warps the standards set in the earlier verses, helping to
make the end really stand out.
7/10
EvelBist - The Beginning Of The End
This has a real classic rock feeling to it, as though we've heard it
somewhere before, but couldn't say just quite where. It's led by bass and a
laid-back drum beat that work very well together, particular at the end of the
choruses. Part way through the guitar solo the band seem to be running out of
steam, but it's all okay again for the last refrain. The lyrics fit the bill,
summing up the feelings of leaving work, but not really expanding on the topic
too much.
7/10
Trader Jack - Last Day
Okay, I like the way the horse steps become part of the rhythm right at the
start of the song. It's a nice touch, but... why? It doesn't seem to have
anything else to do with the song. This is probably the song which best gets
across the excitement of a voluntary last day at work. It's a crazy 80's
footloose long with a flatulent bass synth, choppy piano chords and drum
machine. Some of the lyrics don't make much sense, but that's pretty much the
idea - being so excited that not much makes sense. Fun.
7/10
Felix Frost - Leaving Lyman's Liquor Store
Without reading any of the lyrics on the first listen to any of these
songs, I initially didn't pick up on the western aspects of Felix's song and
thought it sounded like a Mario Bros adventure brought to life in song. Very
8-bit and cartoony in style. There is no recognisable chorus as such and the
instrumentation changes like an ADD squirrel on speed, but it has a certain
charm and I'm coming round to it. I'd love to hear Felix do something a bit
slower, with different instrumentation. Maybe even take a breath now and then.
How he managed to pack all this into one week is beyond me. I'm guessing no
sleep and far too much coffee. Felix has yet to find his feet, I think; some of
the moves between styles are a bit clumsy, though they are effective when they
do work.
6/10
Army Defense - You're Not Paid
A downbeat rock number, this feels like it needs a bit of an injection of
something. Maybe some of whatever keeps Felix going. It just plods a bit then
ends. Or does it? There's a silence, a scrape a drum fill and then everything
starts back up and changes in the last 40 seconds or so, taking on a John Lennon
vibe with a bit more life and soul, which is much more effective.
6/10
"BucketHat" Bobby - On The Pogey
I love the Irish folk / sea shanty feel to this and the lyrics are great,
but that argh! The piano is horrible! Really, it drives into my skull. Please
remix this and leave it out. I just find it very intrusive - either play more or
don't play it at all, but that one-note bass thing is horrible in an otherwise
cheerful little number.
6/10
David Ritter - Graveyard
Funky zombie rock. Haven't we had enough zombies yet? No? Oh, okay then. I
liked the phone call, that was fun, and there is a frantic feeling to the song
as it bounces along, but the song doesn't really do much for me. It's not really
funny or scary or sad, it's just busy and a bit silly. All the instrumentation
is fine, though there is maybe just a bit too much going on at once. Maybe have
a verse with only drums or only guitar or something. Change is good. I said
"change", not "brains"!
6/10
Gorbzilla - The Last Last Day
Modern rock ballad time and the music I could quite happily leave behind,
though the guitar is distorting in a way that acoustic guitars shouldn't. The
lyrics are thoroughly miserable - not only is the protagonist losing his job,
but a whole school for the underprivileged getting closed down. Strong stuff,
well done, would not be out of place in a made-for-TV movie, but it just sounds
like so many other rock ballads (apart from the distortion) and doesn't do
anything new. It just seems to stop without
6/10
Alex Boyd - The Bastard Had It Coming
I like this song and the sentiment is no doubt shared by many who leave
their jobs. It has a cheerful folky style and the lyrics have a hard edge that
balance out the so-happy-we-want-to-slap-you-too instrumentation. Some nice uke
playing in places, but the vocals need work - the pitch wobbles off on its own
in several places. Still, there's nothing like practice, so keep at it.
5/10
Jeremy Lambright - Empty Spaces
This really did nothing for me. I didn't hate it, but just had this feeling
that nothing was really happening. I suspect I've just become immune to that
particular brand of two chord guitar middle of the road rock. It just seemed to
repeat endlessly, which might have been okay if the repeated phrase was awesome,
but it wasn't. I think I might have fallen asleep somewhere in the middle.
4/10
Milton - Today's The Day
This song has a pretty and memorable chorus, but everything else just feels
uncomfortable. The verses feel like 80's Madonna songs before she had a band.
The rhythm section would be better left out - it feels week and out of place.
The vocals sound lost, void of emotion until maybe the last chorus. If you are
going to sing "I'm gonna dance and shout", at least do so giving the impression
that you might; don't sing it in a monotone. The song feels half-finished, so
maybe it was an effort to avoid a deadline disqualification..
4/10
Emperor Gum - Pygmalion
The lyrics for this song are touching, as the inventor puts together his
clockwork girl and lets her go on her way. Unfortunately the music does not back
it up. It sounds like the guitar can't quite keep up with the bass, there are
some pretty intrusive synth parts that stick too far out of the mix. There is
just something uncomfortable about the arrangement and the vocals struggle to
hit the notes in places too. At the very least it needs a re-mix, but a stronger
vocal performance would help too.
4/10
Francis Wms. - Redundant Redunit
This track does a great job of giving the impression felt in the midst of a
mass-redundancy announcement. There is a numbness, a feeling of nausea and all
the while somebody drones on about how redundancy is not necessarily a bad
thing. This speech waffles on endlessly and repetitively, sometimes totally
obscured by the music. You might think that's a good thing, but the music is
genuinely horrible - it really does make my stomach feel quite queasy. It
doesn't let up the swirling, muffled beat at any point with a change in pace or
dynamics, but is quite simply relentless. So, totally successful in getting the
challenge across, but as a song? Well, it really isn't a song, is it? It's one
of those pieces of art that gets a point across, but is so disturbing and
horrible that you don't want to listen to it. Ever. Again.
2/10
Rats Of The Sky - Two Weeks Notice
This starts off strong, with a nice riff and powerful instrumentation. Then
the rapping starts. There doesn't seem to be any emotion in the vocals and the
second voice doesn't add anything, indeed in places it takes away from the lead
vocal, as they are not always in sync. The arrangement is fine, but it is fairly
repetitive. In a couple of places the vocals stop and some of the instruments
drop out as though there was going to be some sort of instrumental break, but
then nothing really happens.
2/10
Dex01 - Brand New Life (Shadow)
The vocal is disappearing behind the guitars and feels lacking in
confidence, but the potential is coming through in places. Some of the
arrangement is rather clumsy too - particularly switching between
instrumentation, whilst there are maybe just too many guitars clashing in the
last chorus. I like the on the spur of the moment decision made by the narrator
and the response of the boss - not what I was expecting, and really made the
whole thing more touching and human.
5/10
Dr. Lindyke - Mayan Holiday (Shadow)
Billy Joel meets the End of the World! I thought there might have been more
songs along these lines when I knew what the challenge was, but I couldn't
imagine many being more perfect than this. Current, upbeat and fun, but with a
bit of sad turn in the last verse.
8/10
Zoe Gray - Say Goodbye (Shadow)
The end of the world (and humanity), but from the Sun's point of view. This
is the kind of bending of the challenge that I fully support. The piano playing
is simple, but effective. The synth break in the middle is a bit out of place
and could be incorporated a bit better. Vocals are sad and wistful, there's
something poignant about having a character aged over 4 billion sung by someone
who sounds like they are barely in their teens. The question is... why are you
not competing?
8/10
Greg Hosack - I'm Gonna Go (Shadow)
First things first... please turn down the level on your shaker! Oh, and if
you could shake it in time with the rest of the song, that would be good too.
Almost everything else is good, though. Good vocals with superb doubling and the
instruments have been well-recorded. There is one other issue - your levels are
overloading like crazy. Please use bit of gentle compression and keep the levels
down. It's not just the shaker, either. Try loading your mp3 into Audacity - I
could hardly see the waveform for red warning lines!
6/10
I really enjoyed reading all of the reviews (even/especially the negative bits) --- it makes me glad I made it (barely) to the next round. I like getting this kind of honest feedback.
ReplyDeleteThis song was really a rush job and think it's the worst song I've done for any of these various contests I've been participating in this year (Song Fight! and Nur Ein and now Spin Tunes) ... next time I'm not waiting until the last minute!