SpinTunes #11 Round 2 Reviews: Ted Kiper

Welcome back for Round 2! This challenge asks for a song about a guilty pleasure; although it isn’t much harder than the previous round, I can imagine this will require deeper exposition and more emotion. Thankfully, there were plenty of good ideas to be shared. But the trick here is to find the balance between the feeling of guilt and pleasure. Although I haven’t heard any overt shame, I felt that some songs were a bit too easy-going, where I didn’t think the song felt guilty at all. Bolder approaches shone brightest.

 

Additionally, the topics of food or sexuality were to be expected, and therefore I may not find such songs very captivating. My proposition of creating a song about “food porn” pales in comparison to your more interesting ideas. Even television shows and movies had more potential for diversity.

 

Last round, my scores may have been too optimistic; it was too difficult for me to decide which great song was the best. This time, I was judging somewhat more critically so that scores can filter faster. My results were shocking. Some songs had excellent form and perspective on the challenge, but my pickiness somehow managed to slot them lower on the ranks. Yet others had plenty of faults, but because I related more to their guilty pleasures, I found them creative enough to gain more points. And after the last round’s fallout of low-scored artists, you will no longer be cushioned by the likes of BYD. (Still love you, BYD, your last entry was one of my top favorites.)

 

All in all, don’t be discouraged if you find me place your entry as last picks. I have faith that other judges will once again pivot me as the maverick of opinions. Actually, it’s an unofficial position I’m beginning to enjoy. I guess you can call it my new guilty pleasure. (oh, I’m such a sick one…)

 

 

 

Reviews

 

 

Governing Dynamics – Ireland Delay

Rank: 1

Score: 45

 

Challenge – 11

Oh dear, a U2 pleasure. You nailed me on that one. That’s even more naughty than my Radiohead addiction, and it’s perhaps a better fit for your skills than my beloved Depeche Mode. And you played dangerous territory; covering an artist’s style puts you at risk of failing to meet the high standards, especially in a fan’s ears. Regardless, since no one else chose a musical artist or genre, you grabbed my attention and points quite immediately. I should’ve expected something like this, but we both know that out of all artists, U2 is perfect. And I’m constantly reminded of this shame whenever I try to present them to my wife. She loathes them, I love them, her guilt, my pleasure. I suspect we all know this story very well.

Lyrics - 6

Of course you had to do a callback on some classic topics that U2 covered. And you managed to describe a story of about the shame in the middle of the nostalgia. My biggest critique is the chorus; it sounds deflating. Yes, the guilt is there, but it leans on childish and insecure. No big deal, though.

Composition - 6

It’s not perfect, but you captured the feel of U2 extremely well, everything Achtung Baby and before. What an incredible blend! At the very least, this should be accepted as a B-Side to one of their singles.

Songcrafting - 6

Again, my rant points to the chorus. The melody and delivery for the section doesn’t successfully reflect their epicness and shameless punk. But for the sake of the challenge, I easily forgive you.

Arrangement - 4

The atmosphere is perfect. Even the guitar licks are on point.

Performance – 3

Very good work. But as you know, more bold high vocals would’ve made this complete. And with Bono’s already imperfect voice, wouldn’t it have been worth the risk?

Recording - 3

Nothing sounds wrong here. I can barely tell this wasn’t at a studio with U2.

Judge’s Whim - 6

I hate to say this, but this is one of those songs I didn’t think deserve to be ranked so highly, especially compared to the other entries. But since I was too distracted with the love for this topic, I couldn’t find any important faults to note. My favorites from the artist include New Year’s Day, The Unforgettable Fire, Zooropa, Lemon, City of Blinding Lights, and Every Breaking Wave. And since your entry didn’t sound like any of these, I couldn’t find this as addicting as I wanted it. Still, you did good, sir. You did good.

 

 

Megalodon – Exact Change

Rank: 2

Score = 44

 

Challenge = 9

Now I must mention, you’ve created some controversy in my circle. When presented to my wife, she expressed that paying in exact change is not a guilty pleasure, just something to avoid breaking dollar bills. Lucky for you, I strongly disagree. I find satisfaction in getting rid of annoying coins and clumpy bills in my pockets, where the success somehow reaffirms a sense of cleverness, like a numerical puzzle. And yes, I feel guilty holding people up in line if I can help it. It’s a far-fetched pleasure, but it’s bold enough to distinguish your entry from the others.

Lyrics = 6

I didn’t feel the lyrics was very cohesive, but it had enough diverse vocabulary to keep me interested.

Composition = 7

This has my favorite chord progressions and compositions of the round. The intro had me worried, but it makes sense for the rest of the song. There are enough transitions and rhythm changes to not sound so confusing but keep things very fresh.

Songcrafting = 6

I honestly couldn’t tell you which section of music I liked most; only the “counting”-interlude in the middle seemed flat, as if the song needed to breathe and recollect its thoughts. Or maybe that’s when I’m supposed to be annoyed when you count the change. Guess it works.

Arrangement = 3

Your choice of instruments are well chosen…

Performance = 4

Actually, the soft swings of the vocals were startlingly good. Polite but confident.

Recording = 2

Well, the recording in general is okay, but the chingy-changy of what I believe was the tamborines seemed uncomfortably loud. Forgive me, but the best way I can describe it is like having a flashlight shine on my face and calling it the Sun. It was very appropriate, but nearly made the song too deafening to enjoy.

Judge’s Whim = 7

I’m ashamed to say, but as much as I dig this song, I don’t know how this entry managed to rank so high with me. I think it was the comprehensive composition. It enhanced everything else, and whatever faults this song had somehow slipped beneath my love for the sound. It was catchy and amazingly replayable.

 

 

James Young – Love (Actually)

Rank: 3

Score: 43

 

Challenge - 11

I should’ve figured that some people would find movies as their guilty pleasures. (Mine would be 2001: A Space Odyssey. Dreadfully slow but primally provoking.) And I must say, much to my wife’s chagrin, I hate rom-coms. So why did I give so many points for meeting the challenge? I believe it’s because you chose a movie that was appropriately fitting for your idea; but by not choosing something as ridiculous as The Notebook, I felt this song was more sincere. Don’t get the wrong idea, but it was actually kind of cute.

Lyrics - 6

“Bilbo Baggins gets naked with a girl and they fake it…” Gets me everytime. Interestingly, the chorus is just bland enough that the verses stand out as ultra-juicy. Despite being rather wordy, I must give credit to the verses in using actors/characters names interchangeably. I’m trying hard not to think Bilbo naked, though…

Composition - 6

Like the lyrics, the music for the chorus sounds mediocre compared to the smoother verses. Somehow, I feel like I’m in the dirty to know whatever you’re talking about, so you did really well in making me feel guilty with you. That rhythm was absolutely attractive, and I believe it is the most addicting piece of music in the whole round. Kudos!

Songcrafting - 4

This isn’t a typical production from you, so I admire your reach into something new. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m listening to two different songs. Lucky for you, the verses are so juicy that I’m willing to overlook the chorus. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if you had cut out the chorus altogether or completely remodel it.

Arrangement - 3

Although the arppegiated synth in the verses was unexpected, I think that instrument is what hooked me most. Subtle and strangely effective. The strings, on the other hand, sounds cheesy, perhaps the best fit.

Performance - 3

It’s not the smoothest singing, but everything else got the beat down pat.

Recording - 3

Pretty good mixing.

Judge’s Whim - 7

It’s one of my top favorites of the round, hands down. I can’t stop thinking about it. In fact, I gave in to my wife’s fantasy and decided to watch the movie with her (*eh-hem* for the competition’s sake, of course…). You should be delighted to know that I liked your song much more than the movie. Using your words, “Love (Actually)” is a song I’ve heard a lot; I know it isn’t perfect but it somehow hits the spot.

 

 

Glen Raphael – Cadberry Shanty

Rank: 4

Score = 43

 

Challenge = 8

I didn’t know Cadberry Eggs can be so evil. I don’t remember eating one, so I guess I haven’t, if it’s as amazing as you warn. But you totally convince me that they are a pleasure of much shame.

Lyrics = 7

It’s a delightful story, very well told. It has a lot of regret, and the song spends many verses explaining the problem. “Calling me down to my doom” is the most memorable line to me.

Composition = 6

I guess the structure of the song seems to play well in storytelling. It also sounds slightly fun, which almost smothers the guilt induced from the lyrics.

Songcrafting = 6

Although I felt the song a little on the long side, the lyrics help keep the song interesting. The beginning of the chorus is nice and punchy, like it’s trying to halt me with a “Watch out! Eggs!”

Arrangement = 3

Very good arrangement, and your egg-shakers and spoons are quite the rage.

Performance = 4

Your vocals are fun and folksy, matching perfectly with the music.

Recording = 3

Nothing out of the ordinary. I kind of wished to hear your voice a little more clearly. No big deal.

Judge’s Whim = 6

Although somewhat simple, the subtle additions in the music and extensively confessing narrative keeps the song fresh, replayable, and quite shareable. 

 

 

Rob from Amersfoort – Girls In Leggings

Rank: 5

Score = 42

 

Challenge = 9

Although I said I wouldn’t rate sexual pleasures very high, this fetish seems creatively specific. And your creepy style fits super well with the naughty concept.

Lyrics = 5

It’s not very descriptive, but the minimalism somehow works very well. No story is needed—just primal imagery of a perverted mind.  

Composition = 7

It’s my favorite composition of the round. It’s like early Duran Duran doing a more psychedelic cover of “Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These”, all of which are addicting to me.

Songcrafting = 6

There are so many diverse nuggets of fun music. The piano, minor chords section is quite a heart-stopping pause, effective and enjoyable.

Arrangement = 3

Although the instruments are all over the place, it’s restrained enough to make it digestibly delicious.

Performance = 2

It’s weird, but I sense slight laziness in the vocals. It’s like you’re not as excited about your fetish as you claim you are.

Recording = 3

It seems a little on the low end of quality, but I think it’s not out of place.

Judge’s Whim = 7

It’s so catchy, I really don’t mind putting this on replay. I think I’m even purposely extending my review on this so that I can keep listening. Oddly, now I want my wife to wear leggings for me… She declined, but thanks for the idea anyway.

 

 

Jailhouse Payback – Watching “Lockdown”

Rank: 9

Score: 44

 

Challenge = 8

There are various television shows that people can be ashamed of liking. I don’t like watching TV all that much, but when I do, it’s always the stuff that nobody else wants to watch with me. (i.e. Weather Channel, CSPAN, some weird Catholic channel…) But as for guilty pleasure TV shows, I’d say one of mine is What Not To Wear from TLC.

Lyrics = 4

Sorry, but I felt the song delved too much in the hotel and not enough in the show. (Unless the show was about the hotel, which I’m completely missing it.) It makes me ask: why so guilty liking the show, as opposed to other shows? Otherwise, perhaps there were interesting parallels between the two stories. Locked down in watching “Lockdown”?

Composition = 6

The chord progressions are just enough to keep make this song quite catchy.

Songcrafting = 6

I love the direction of the whole music, especially the chorus.

Arrangement = 2

Okay, that banjo is still pretty cool. But it doesn’t differentiate so much from your last entry. Perhaps a bit too casual.

Performance = 3

Sounds pretty safe. But the chorus shines brighter here.

Recording = 3

I appreciate the backing vocal and guitar solos.

Judge’s Whim = 8

Somehow, this song gets my highest rank in favorites, when there were a lot of other great and bolder entries. Maybe the song hits such a sweet spot--not bland, not weird, just right. I will say that this is my favorite song I’ve heard from you.

 

 

Edric Haleen – My Dear Wife

Rank: 6

Score = 39

 

Challenge = 8

I wasn’t really sure what the guilty pleasure was at first, until I thought I heard it was about Candy Crush or some game. If so, I kind of wished it was made more explicitly. Anyway, video games are definitely a guilty pleasure I can relate. I think mine would be… Fatty Bear. An innocent, point-and-click children’s game I just recently recovered from the dankest corners of the internet.

Lyrics = 6

Although the concept wasn’t very clear, I definitely can see the guilt of playing games with devices instead of playing with your wife. Lol But also there is regret for not spending time better in general.

Composition = 5

The subtle dissonances really help keep this song human and eventful.

Songcrafting = 6

Your skill in dynamics is presented really well, but the jump in and out of the intro still leaves me a little puzzled. And although the ending is artistically understandable, I find it quite noticeably different from the rest of the song.

Arrangement = 2

Perhaps a video game pleasure could have benefitted from a slightly more electronic approach?

Performance = 4

Excellent piano intro, covered by a particularly strained high vocals. As I mentioned before, the dynamics shone well.

Recording = 3

Thank you for whatever reduced the volume a bit on the intro vocals. I was slightly concerned of clipping.

Judge’s Whim = 5

A lot was happening here; most of which was rather pretty and elegant. Your abundance of drama, though, might have been a tad overwhelming for a pleasure I would have thought casual and inconsequential.

 

 

Mark Humble – Secret Desire

Rank: 7

Score: 37

 

Challenge - 9

Clever. I’ve forgotten about the numerous shameful viral videos and vines, lurking around the creatively twisted internet. And I’m glad you didn’t pick porn and stuck with something even more ridiculous. The humor is welcomed.

Lyrics - 5

It establishes the edgy image, and then it punches into the awkward topic. It also covers plenty of Internet-cat memes, so that’s cool.

Composition - 4

Simple and straightforward, very focused in the message. And the rhythm is banging!

Songcrafting - 6

Of course, the song’s charm is the entertaining juxtaposition of hardcore and cute cats. Even with the bizarre but amusing musical break in the middle, the song successfully blends the two worlds. My biggest critique is the appropriations of the two, as it appears more hardcore than cute, if not creepy.

Arrangement - 3

Instruments sound hardcore enough.

Performance - 2

Not exactly the most hardcore vocals. But that falsetto part in the chorus makes me gag in laughter. Well done.

Recording - 3

Nothing particularly wrong here.

Judge’s Whim - 5

I feel guilty just knowing someone else has this pleasure. It’s kind of awkward, but I tend to like awkward.

 

 

Ross Durand  – Uh Oh!

Rank = 9

Score = 37

 

Challenge = 8

Yes, I expected food, especially sweet goodies. But Spaghetti-O’s? That’s pretty original. But I like them too, and I don’t feel guilty about it. Tacky me says: embrace it! And if I had a guilty pleasure for food, I suppose it would be bologna. Either that or liverwurst. The more processed, the better.

Lyrics = 5

I find one of the verses kind of funky—well, funkier than usual. It reminds me of reading a recipe book. I was more interested on the lyrics that described the nostalgia it invokes.

Composition = 5

Well, I certainly sense the cheesiness. Maybe even the sauciness. And that guitar fills the music with lots of loopy chunks.

Songcrafting = 6

It’s quite what I expected for a Spaghetti-O’s song. Even the end of the chorus epitomizes the whole concept.

Arrangement = 3

It quite the right blend.

Performance = 2

Those “uh-oh”s are pretty care-free.

Recording = 3

It sounded fun to plunk out.

Judge’s Whim = 5

Do you remember the jingles round we had some competitions ago? I can totally foresee a shortened version of this winning big points.

 

 

Pigfarmer Jr – I Like p0rn

Rank: 10

Score = 36

 

Challenge = 7

A porn song. I don’t think I need to explain the guilty pleasure here.

Lyrics = 4

The lyrics follow what I expect from a porn song. I’m much more interested in the type of person narrating it. At first, I thought it was a middle-aged drunkard with nothing better to do with his life. And then the interference from the mother changed him into a middle school teen. What kind of beer drinker still lives with his mom in fear? 

Composition = 5

It’s actually rather catchy, especially with the guitar instrumentals laced throughout the song. I find it a strange blend of “Stacy’s Mom” going metal, rhythm of The Pixies “Bossanova”, done by awkward Weezer.

Songcrafting = 5

Sounds like a narrative anthem. The “from the front and the rear” line sounds rushed.

Arrangement = 3

I love the guitar arrangement.

Performance = 3

The singing has a bit of swinging. I’m kind of fond of it.

Recording = 3

This feels like a classic punk-rock garage band.

Judge’s Whim = 6

The guilt is kept a minimal, apparently shown only when caught. It’s kind of awkward to listen to, like knowing the sex life of a 13-year-old. Otherwise, it’s a fun tune.

 

 

Ominous Ride – Cheap Wine

Rank = 11

Score = 36

 

Challenge = 8

Ah, this happens to be one of my guilty pleasures too. And thankfully, they have such a wide variety at the stores.

Lyrics = 4

The story is well developed, and the vocabulary is wonderfully wide. But something strange happened. At the mention of Armani, Gucci, and Mercedes, I no longer sympathized for him or his guilt. This is probably not an issue for other judges, but I lost the eagerness to relate.

Composition = 5

It has pretty smooth transitions between musical sections. I felt the song was a tad bit too long.

Songcrafting = 6

I love the additional vocal harmonies. They’re quite focused to pair well with the melody.

Arrangement = 2

Sounds rather heavy for a topic such as wine. Except for the occasional flute play.

Performance = 3

Some vocals are amazing, and some seem strained. You’ve made some bold steps.

Recording = 3

For this song, I kind of wished the vocals were a bit clearer.

Judge’s Whim = 5

Generally, it’s a great, smart song. Perhaps it sounds too smart for its own good.

 

 

“BucketHat” Bobby – Ode To Internet Explorer

Rank: 12

Score: 34

 

Challenge - 8

Ooh, Internet Explorer! I know absolutely no one who purposes chooses it, so this is not a bad idea for a guilty pleasure.

Lyrics - 6

My favorite lines are when you explain the things that goes wrong with Internet Explorer.

Composition - 5

I feel that the music is simply a carrier for your lyrics. It sounds pleasant and working.

Songcrafting - 4

Interestingly, the lyrics sound guilty, but the music sounds pleasurable. I love the transitions between the sections, but most the sections sound rather similar to each other.

Arrangement - 2

Is that a ukulele? That’s cool. That bell-sound is a nice add.

Performance - 3

Singing is just as light-hearted as the music.

Recording - 3

I wish the vocals could be clearer, but it’s not a big deal.

Judge’s Whim - 4

I’d share this with friends who still use Internet Explorer. They’ll have a kick with what you delivered.

 

 

Adam Sakellarides – Guilty Pleasure

Rank: 13

Score = 35

 

Challenge = 8

I can’t imagine how addicting she can be, but I also can’t imagine many people feeling guilty having watched her. I have lots of friends who like Judge Judy, and I’d be proud to say that. Maury, on the other hand…

Lyrics = 5

The chorus is solidifying and super focused, which leaves the rest of the stanzas burdened to carry the rest of creativity..

Composition = 5

The verses and the chorus sounds like they belong in two different songs.

Songcrafting = 5

There’s a good amount of fresh changes that doesn’t leave any section boring.

Arrangement = 2

I was kind of hoping for more orchestration or rage, to represent the feel of her show.

Performance = 3

Sounds like fun!

Recording = 3

I can almost think the recording is being played on a TV set, which is pretty good I guess.

Judge’s Whim = 4

The entry is pretty catchy and fun for a serious, snarky woman.

 

 

Jon Eric – Candy Cigarette

Rank: 14

Score: 34

 

Challenge - 6

Hmm… when I first heard this song, I originally thought it was going to be about Candy Cigarettes. But after reading the lyrics more thoroughly, even AFTER you told me what it was about, I just so recently realized that you’re talking about a sexual partner. I can’t believe how I completely missed it.

Lyrics - 5

“You’re so sweet” is pretty well ingrained in my head, thanks. But the verses has a lot more clever wordplay.

Composition - 4

It’s nothing too out of the ordinary. And if there was, it’s very subtle. My main problem is that the music sounds so happy; I can hardly believe that you feel in any way guilty about this pleasure.

Songcrafting - 6

Lots of energy and plenty of pop.

Arrangement - 3

The setting has enough sound to keep the song jumping up and down.

Performance - 2

The last chorus recording has a vocal performance at the brink of a sugar crash.

Recording - 3

Perhaps with compression, the vocals can be heard more consistently. Otherwise, it’s soft at some parts of lines.

Judge’s Whim - 5

This song is so sweet, I’ll need to check for diabetes. The super-saturation could’ve turned my earwax into sugar-crystals. Overall, it’s definitely fun.

 

 

Emperor Gum – Electricity

Rank: 15

Score = 30

 

Challenge = 7

At first, I was rather lost in what the guilty pleasure was. But after careful reading, I believe the pleasure is having electricity, but we should feel guilty for destroying the world to excessively using this technology. If so, then I happen to agree. A brilliant idea, but the development to elaborate this idea seems half-baked.

Lyrics = 5

There are good bits, like “IV plugs” that signify life can’t live without electricity; but a lot of times I get lost on what exactly we are talking about. The imagery is everywhere and intermingling, as if dreaming rapidly and not knowing what we dreamt the moment we wake up.

Composition = 5

The intro starts with an early Pink Floyd feel, and then chaos exploded before the vocals begin. The tempo is rather pushing, and perhaps it would have benefitted more if the music was more controlled.

Songcrafting = 4

So much is happening, the most I can distinguish is the difference between verse and chorus.

Arrangement = 3

Lots of interesting sounds for the interesting topic of electricity.

Performance = 1

I felt your voice simply went to musical places I could not follow.

Recording = 2

Your voice mix is rather low.

Judge’s Whim = 4

This is very creative, no doubt about it. I truly love the idea. But the beat is quite a mess, and focus might be key to giving this song it’s much deserved attention.

 

 

Brian Gray – Building An Orc Army

Potential Rank: 15

Score: 33

 

Challenge = 0

I believe you publically stated that this song was not intended to meet the challenge. Therefore, I find it awkward to rank you compared to those who tried. So for you, these scores won’t mean much. I’ll just mention whatever I can.

Lyrics = 6

No joke you spent a lot of time on this. Really really wordy, lots of nice and ridiculous details. But “hide the salami”? You had too much time and too much fun, sir.

Composition = 6

That rhythm is quite the funky funk. Really fun.

Songcrafting = 7

Those words are so squished together, before I read the title of the song, I thought you said “building an origami”. I guess I can settle with my beloved LOTR references. It came together rather excellent.

Arrangement = 2

Not sure why this rhythm was necessary for someone like Saruman.

Performance = 3

Smooth moves.

Recording = 3

Nothing wrong here. Hardly anything noticeable.

Judge’s Whim = 6

Well, I quite enjoyed where this went. More, please.

 

 

Ellie Sparrow – Bathe In Media

Rank: 16

Score: 25

 

Challenge - 4

From what I can gather, the guilty pleasure is using your mobile device while taking a bath. Well… that actually could be an interesting idea, for reasons I won’t want to explain.

Lyrics - 4

Seems very calming and clean, with light-hearted concerns.

Composition - 3

It’s very pretty, but I find it a bit too optimistic.

Songcrafting - 4

The song really does sound like trying to take a bath. Very casual and easy-going. It was rather clever to end the song with “switch off”, and turn off the music.

Arrangement - 2

That cowbell is quite there, for every beat on the song.

Performance – 3

Follows along with the beat pretty nice.

Recording – 2

I do appreciate the ending, which is an actual ending this time. But I still would like to hear you a tiny bit louder.

Judge’s Whim – 3

I think what lost me completely was the line “I won’t feel guilty for something I enjoy”. But the whole point is to make a song about a pleasure that you feel guilty doing. Sweet song, though. Perfect to listen to when I want to take a bath.

 

 

 

 

Conclusion

How did I manage to pull another all-nighter for reviews? There were less songs this time!

 

I saw improvements from everyone in your various aspects, so this round went surprisingly well. I hope to see you all in the next one!

 

1.       Governing Dynamics – Ireland Delay

2.       Megalodon – Exact Change

3.       James Young – Love (Actually)

4.       Glen Raphael – Cadberry Shanty

5.       Rob from Amersfoort – Girls In Leggings

6.       Jailhouse Payback – Watching “Lockdown”

7.       Edric Haleen – My Dear Wife

8.       Mark Humble – Secret Desire

9.       Ross Durand – Uh Oh!

10.    Pigfarmer Jr – I Like p0rn

11.    Ominous Ride – Cheap Wine

12.    “BucketHat” Bobby – Ode To Internet Explorer

13.    Adam Sakellarides – Guilty Pleasure

14.    Jon Eric – Candy Cigarette

15.    Emperor Gum – Electricity

16.    Ellie Sparrow – Bathe In Media